The adoption blues

Today was to be a day for celebrating.. or so I hoped and prayed.

We actually asked to be matched with a beautiful baby girl with minor special needs from Korea. She showed up on our agencies list just last week. We asked for her info, asked if we could easily slip into the Korea program, and were told yes to both accounts. We had her medical records looked at by our pediatrician, and then decided we would like the chance to have been her parents. She was so adorable and we truly would have loved to be her parents Our agency, and social worker had us very hyped up, only 5 other families asked for info and as of Tuesday no one else asked to be matched. We hadn't heard anything yesterday. We knew that they would be meeting on her this morning. Then my agency sent an email. YUP not even the decency of a phone call that we were not chosen to be her parents. Needless to say, it feels as sad as the loss through miscarriage. We tried not to get too excited, but in the end we were really excited. I thought that finally this 5 year battle for another child would be over. Over???? not even close. No explanation, as to why we weren't chosen, perhaps we haven't suffered enough.

So with a heavy heart I place another month of adoption ads . I wonder if this journey will ever end. I can not imagine what this must be like for those of us who choose adoption and have no children at home. First the disapointment of infertility and then all the ups and downs of adoption.

Just one year ago I thought we would have our daughter home by this spring......China is only up to December 8th 2005. YESSSS 2005. I am logged in February 9, 200777777777777777777777777777777777777777777. 2 years behind and increasing.