MARCH MADNESS

March is the month that my youngest son was born... He has brought such happiness to my life. It is also the month that I remember the baby that I lost at 22 weeks. He would have brought happiness to my life too. I remember the intense feeling of loss that I had in those early days of this miscarriage. It was miscarriage 3 for us. We thought that everything was fine. I had an amnio and all came back fine. I felt him kick. I had no signs. I remember the sonogram, the sonographers face, and then the DR. came in. NO TEARS... then the well broke and so did my heart. It took a long time to recover mentally with this miscarriage. Some people didn't say a word... that was hard....some people tried hard to find the right words.... that was hard. We would have named him Caden. I still feel sad with the intensity of those early days.

We continued on and had miscarriage 4 and miscarriage #5. Number 5 was at 20 weeks and just as difficult as # 3. He too was a boy as was all my miscarriages. But it was also the turning point and the beginning of the "pregnancy" for our daughter. It is a great relief to to know that this pregnancy will not end up in miscarriage.. but with a beautiful baby girl... We just can't wait.