then we get a referral for a beautiful baby and then it seems like we get the slowest judge in the world. I dont freakin get it.... I wanted to be home for a while with Paige,,,and now it look like I wont be home all that long with her before the next school year starts... SUCKS. Ok I told you.. stop reading if you can't stand the whine..
I am not done yet.....
Why can't things work out FOR ONCE????? Why do things always go wrong??? God knows I have tried to remain positive... if I didnt I wouldnt have been able to stick out this whole stinkin process. How else can I handle this??? Don't tell me to get a life... because I have a very full one thank you. I have 2 great kids, and since one is in college, the other one keeps me very busy with all of his activities. I enjoy him a lot. I am also a full time teacher, and that keeps me very busy, because even when I am not at work, I am planning lessons, or doing paperwork. The only thing that I would say we havent done in the past 2 years is take a vacation because we keep thinking we will be traveling to some far away country at any moment, and are saving the pennies for that....
How does one get through this, especially now that our wait has turned to the longer side of things? I am not sure that I have the stomach for it but what else can we do? It is so out of our control. And then we see her sweet face... boy oh boy is it sweet. Yes folks since I have experienced it both ways, I would say that adoption is much harder than being pregnant... MUCH!!!!
SO OPRAH if you are reading this, instead of doing some crappy show on some crazy women who wants to have 14 kids, and her father who thinks she is crazy, do one on how hard it is for those of us trying to adopt. THERE ARE A LOT OF US!!!We would make a much more interesting show.
Ok did you stick with me on this post??? I don't want sympathy, I just need to vent, scream, punch the walls, cry and pray that this nightmare of a wait will eventually end and we will have Paige home, and our lives will go on, and we will be a complete family.....
9 comments:
You're feeling as you should at this stage. It hurts... and it's going to hurt no matter if your court process is one month or ten months. You're a mama that wants to love her baby that is on the other side of the world. While I waited, screamed, cried, considered needing medication... people told me that once you have her you forget the pain of the wait. I haven't forgotten! I still vividly remember all of the painful feelings that tortured me for months, but they are all healed and it doesn't hurt anymore. I don't know about you... but it seems like the more I knew about my daughter... and the more photos and video that I had of her... the harder the wait was. Pictures and video made me happy for a day or two... and then the hurt was worse.
scream, vent, yell, say bad words, have a drink. Whatever you want to do I will join you. This experience thus far has been tough, the last 3 years have been stressful, painful, and full of heartbreak. You know I know how you feel, and if I lived close I would bring over a pitcher of margarita's and chips and salsa!!! We could drink until we felt better...at least about adoption.
We are both going to have our girls home, I will be visiting you and we will laugh about how tough this has been and how good it feels to hold our girls.....I don'tknow when we will do this, but we are going to do it in the next 6 months, and it will the greatest feeling in the world.
Hang in there with me girl, we are going to get through this, and it will be worth it. You have never forgot what labor and delivery felt like....but it probably doesn't seem as bad today as it did then....and I assume the wait for Miss Paige will be the same. It will never go away, but it will not hurt like it does right now.
hugs, hugs, and more hugs!!!!
love ya girl
I am right there with you hon. Your words are not at all void to me! I know it stinks to be where you are and trust me, we have had PLENTY of moments when we asked God why or when? I have watched Jo grow up from day one and I know that I will not travel until after he turns ONE! The pain of know that is not cool, but I give it to God daily and it helps. If I had to wait like this the first time around, I think I would be in much worse shape so hon.. you are doing GREAT! You are normal and your feelings are normal! Most of us do forget the wait. All I can say is hang in there! It is so very hard to do this! It WILL happen! I am sorry it isn't sooner hon. I really am. IT WILL HAPPEN SOON!!!!!
Sarah k
Taiwankiddo2.blogspot.com
I read to the end and yes, I am right there with you! I will stand by your side. I will hug you. I will listen to you vent and you should! I will, in fact, head to Taiwan to speak to the judge, if that is your wish:) I want nothing more than to hear GOOD NEWS. We are all very ready to see Paige at home, IN HER MOMMY'S ARMS! This is where she belongs. There is a piece of our circle missing and we can all feel it. Lots of hugs your way this morning. XOXO
You have every right to vent....that is what a blog is for. We sll support you in both happy news and frustration too. Keep the faith and I will keep sending good thought out in hope of you getting good news very soon. Don't give up...you are too close!!!
You have every reason to vent! Waiting for these precious children who grow older day by day and week by week without you, watching them grow older through pictures and small clips is incredibly difficult. Add to that the uncertainty and the inability to do anything to make a difference is incredibly hard. Its an emotional roller coaster!
Paige is coming home soon! She will be in that beautiful room you are preparing for her. I just know you will get news any time now, and things are moving a bit faster now with AIT, so hopefully this will just be the end of the valley and things will go much more quickly from now on.
Hugs!,
Lora O.
I am with you sweetie! I give up. I have asked why me...why do we have the longest judge. I feel so bad...but when I read that Karen and Jules got their rulings I SOBBED! I am happy for them, but so, so sad for me. I am literally in a pit of despair and physically hurt because of it. I have never felt anything this terrible in my whole life! Bitch on girl. Our lives are on hold...for what doesn't just seem, but IS forever!
Lisa,
I join all the other wonderful ladies in saying, 'heck ya' you have the right to sob, rage, stomp, stamp, grieve, holler & anything else that soothes or distracts from the agony that is your wait right now! My heart just aches for you & Heather both.......its senseless(the wait) and so arbritrary and that makes it hurt all the more.
(((HUGS))) I know you may not want 'em right now, but tuck them away for a bit....take them out as needed!!
venting is good!!! Hang in there, before you know it you will be home from Taiwan wondering where all the quiet and rest went. I know what you are feeling and empathize, scream all you need to, and you can always come visit us if you want a little Taiwan snuggle!
Melissa
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